The calendar has once again completed its ritual winding over to a new year, 2019, and as everything gets that new feel, this blog has come out of the ashes of 2013 when I was younger, less busy, not a dad or a homeowner, and all the other standard excuses.
So with 2019 and approaching 31, I have immediately started thinking about changes. It's one thing to be 30, but in a few short weeks I will be in my 30's. The turn of the odometer of my life by one more number seems small and insignificant, but man has it hit me hard. In my meltdown mode I did what every normal human would do on December 30th - I made my New Years Resolutions. That list that some statistics I have read is 80% abandoned nationwide by the end of this month. On it were the usual suspects - lose weight, exercise more, spend more time in prayer and in scripture, etc.
As I made my list and thought on it, I realized something about myself. It wasn't a Looney Tunes light bulb moment but just something that popped up - I love starting things. I know for many, starting something is the scariest thing in the world, but for me, it is such a joy. The feel of a new journal, the need for the planning, laying out the structure, all the folders that need to be created, whether physical or digital (where I am a certifiable hoarder of all things) - all this just makes me feel at home.
The problem with being a great starter is that often you are not known to be a great closer. There's a reason that the pitchers in baseball who start games and those who assume the pressure packed closer's role have totally different personas. The starters can come in, work their strategy and game plan, and because they are first out, they get the lead up time to prepare and always begin with a clean slate. The closer on the other hand comes into chaos, has no control over the scenario, and is expected to perform at his peak for a short period and leave everything on the mound. No thanks to that, I will take my spreadsheets, my insane folder system, and my 4 journals with 5-6 pages maximum written in them and go on my merry way.
My hope this year, in 2019, is that I learn to finish. Maybe that should be my only resolution. To finish what I started with the big things in my life that need resolving. That I start a diet of a programmed time, whether paying for 3 months to Weight Watchers or the current 100 day youth pastor diet I am in, and actually see it through to the end and not bail out. That the goal to read the whole Bible cover to cover this year doesn't stall out in Exodus or Leviticus like it usually does. That I write for my own personal pleasure more than just 5-6 times, whether in this medium or in one of those four journals lying around, all those pages unused.
This year, I resolve to finish something. The landscape of my world is littered with half finished woodworking projects, books dog eared five chapters in, and school projects partially done. Time will only tell if I make my resolution stick or if I end up bombing out and try again in 2020. Hell, I love starting after all!
